The Controversy

Part seven I couldn't have asked for a better evening, the was music playing, there was an electricity in the air, a handsome boy was at my side, and I was floating. Have you ever dreamed for something so much and hoped that maybe someday it would come true? This was my dream and I didn't want to wake up, because if I did wake up, it just might not be real. Alan stayed with me the whole rest of the evening. We just stood and talked and laughed and at one point he took my hand and held it. Ahhh! My poor heart was about to burst! Some girls I knew from Tigerettes kept walking by me and Alan. I didn't know why they kept staring at us. I later did. An old girlfriend of Alan's, Debbie, was at the dance. Debbie was in the Tigerettes with me, but I didn't know that she was an old girlfriend of Alan's until he later told me. Alan had danced with her before he found me in the front of the store. So, because Alan had danced with her previously, I guess she thought that there might be a chance for her to get back together with him. Apparently not, because Alan paid the utmost attention to the girl at his side, me. Oh, I forgot, Colette was with me too. Looking back on how I handled the evening with Colette makes me sad. Why? Because, one-I totally forgot all about Colette being with me. I had begged her to come with me and I was totally ignoring her. I was bad. I was not being a very good friend. I wish now that I had been a better friend at the time. I wish that I had included her more in our conversation, but I didn't. Alan and I danced a few dances, which put me on cloud nine, but Colette was left alone. I was totally gone to the land of "where dreams do come true", and wasn't even thinking about what Colette was doing. The other thing that I remember being sad about the evening was, two-when we went home. When it came time to go home from the dance, (which I really didn't want to leave) Alan offered to take us home. "Yes! I'll be riding in a car with a boy!", is what I thought. Now you have to understand, that's a big deal for a nerdy girl. To be a nerdy girl and be seen with a cute boy in a car--that was a step up, that was not a thing that happens to girls like me. I remember thinking that this night was just too good to be true. So off we went with me riding in the middle pressed next to Alan, our bodies touching, and Colette by my side. Seat belts were not really worn at that time, so we were all in the front seat sort of squished together. As I remember, many cars on the road didn't even have seat belts in them. Colette lived right next door to me on the south. We had been friends since our family had moved in when I was eight years old, so our friendship was going on eight years. Alan drove up in front of her house, we said goodnight to her and then we took off in the car around the corner. I'm sure that Colette went into her house being terribly sadden by the way that I handled the whole evening. What kind of friend was I? But all I could think about was- I was with Alan- and that was all that mattered. If I could see Colette right now I would say to her how sorry I am for the pain I caused her in my selfishness, and 'would she please forgive me'. Oh, the things we do in our youth, it's a good thing that we all grow up and know how to treat people better. Alan drove me around the block and came back to my house. Seems silly now that I think about it, but at the time it felt like he was bringing me home from a date. Alan walked me to the back door. We stood together leaning on our old family station wagon which was olive green with the wood-looking side paneling on it. I remember, at the time we got the car, we kids were excited to have a new car, but as you get to be a teenager a station wagon is just not cool. As we were leaning ( yes, the leaning that's on the movie, 'While You Were Sleeping') Terry walked up to the back door with her boyfriend Steve. Now, previously to the dance, I had shown my sisters Alan's picture in the yearbook, and had talked about him non-stop. When Terry saw Alan with me, she knew who he was, and her eyes got big and round when she realized what was happening. She said, "Hi Alan." I'm sure that Alan was completely taken off guard when she said that, thinking, "how does she know me?" I remember a smile playing around her lips when she acknowledged to me, with her eyes, that she knew what was up. It's that look that we women have of knowing something and we give each other this look that says, 'yes, I understand', without saying a word. Well, that was what Terry had done. Now before Terry had arrived, Alan and I were snuggling together with his arm around me and we were talking about the dance and school and other nonsensical things. Alan had been nuzzling against the side of my face with his lips and nose, and his lips had been grazing my cheek. I had massive butterflies going in my stomach by then, and my heart was racing, again. So when Terry walked up I almost felt guilty that I had been caught doing something that I shouldn't have, which I wasn't, mind you. She said goodnight to her boyfriend and started to open the door, she turned and looked at me and said, "you need to come in now Kris". I, the dutiful younger sister, said, "okay". Terry went in and I turned to Alan and said that I needed to go in now and started for the door. When I reached the screen door I looked back at him. He had on this forlorn look, his sad brown eyes looking at me. I couldn't have him looking sad, so I ran back and gave him a small kiss on his cheek, and a smile, and said goodnight. I ran back to the door, threw it open, but I stole one last glance at Alan before I went in, and I could see a smile forming on his lips, then I scurried in through the door. My arms went immediately around me, hugging myself tightly. I remember thinking that it was an awfully brave thing for me to do, to kiss him like that, but I was glad that I did. Terry came up to me and asked how I came to be with Alan. I told her that we had met at the dance. I also told her that it had been my wish that I would get to see him at the dance, and then, 'wow, I came home with him.' Now this is the controversial part. Alan swears to this day that he never was 'sweet-kissing' me on my cheek. He claims that I kissed first, but we women know what a nuzzle is, right! Or, I would have never ran back and gave him that kiss on the cheek. You know though, I've always been a sucker for those puppy brown eyes.